TCG: Hey. There’s a neat statistic.
UCC: (Not wearing hearing aids) What?
TCG: You live an average of 3 years longer if you have a dog.
UCC: No kidding?
WISIMH: So TCB will live until approximately the twelfth day of never. And with so many loveable characteristics. To name a few: the patience of an untrained circus monkey; the paranoia of a tweaking meth-head; the reasoning skills of a 2-year-old in need of a nap, the charm of a hungry alligator in a kiddie pool; one tooth; the personal hygiene practices of a homeless drunk, the conversation skills of a boiling kettle; the situational awareness of a comatose possum; the manners of a demented hag with one tooth. Not to mention, the fragrance of a dumpster during a garbage strike.