Friday, April 30, 2010

Time Travel

DOB: Time keeps going backward!

UCC: On you microwave. Yes. That's how it works when you're cooking something in the microwave, right? Wait. There's nothing in the microwave.

DOB: I have spent 30 minutes trying to set the time, but the time keeps going backwards.

WISIMH: Jesus Christ in a spaceship! Do you have more than 2 brain cells that You could rub together to make any heat?

UCC: So. Umm, do you have the directions for setting the microwave clock?

DOB: Yep, but they don't work.

WISIMH: That's ok, neither do my superpowers in special education, my ability to see in the dark, or my ability to make time run backwards, but what the he'll.

UCC: (Following the seemingly idiot-proof 3-step instructions. Sucessfully!)
Well, wadda ya know, time has stopped running backwards. And the microwave is not cooking air.

DOB: Fine, but now it is standing still. It says 10:44. If it stays that way, so be it.

UCC: Well. It will stay that way for a minute. Most working clocks will advance about a minute per minute.

WISIMH: Except when I converse with you. Time slows to a glacial creep when one attempts to communicate with you.

There follows about a hundred years of profound silence as we watch the microwave digital display intently. Then, eureka! 10.45!

DOB: Looks like it may be working. For now.

UCC: Glad I could help.

1 comment:

Martha in Michigan said...

I don't know what these posts do for you, but I sure appreciate the laughing out loud!