DOB: Time keeps going backward!
UCC: On you microwave. Yes. That's how it works when you're cooking something in the microwave, right? Wait. There's nothing in the microwave.
DOB: I have spent 30 minutes trying to set the time, but the time keeps going backwards.
WISIMH: Jesus Christ in a spaceship! Do you have more than 2 brain cells that You could rub together to make any heat?
UCC: So. Umm, do you have the directions for setting the microwave clock?
DOB: Yep, but they don't work.
WISIMH: That's ok, neither do my superpowers in special education, my ability to see in the dark, or my ability to make time run backwards, but what the he'll.
UCC: (Following the seemingly idiot-proof 3-step instructions. Sucessfully!)
Well, wadda ya know, time has stopped running backwards. And the microwave is not cooking air.
DOB: Fine, but now it is standing still. It says 10:44. If it stays that way, so be it.
UCC: Well. It will stay that way for a minute. Most working clocks will advance about a minute per minute.
WISIMH: Except when I converse with you. Time slows to a glacial creep when one attempts to communicate with you.
There follows about a hundred years of profound silence as we watch the microwave digital display intently. Then, eureka! 10.45!
DOB: Looks like it may be working. For now.
UCC: Glad I could help.