Wisimh: I feel better than I have in years. While my home life is dreary sad and depressing I am not depressed as I had increasingly become these past 3 - 4 years. I feel stronger and able to survive my duties as caregiver. I suppose, as with the final stage of death and dying, I accept my life. How fucking mature of me.
If not cause for actual celebration, I'm no longer on homicide watch (like suicide watch, only different). Threat level green. Whew.
The title quote is Philip Larkin.