"I think it’s kind of funny
I think it’s kind of sad
The dreams I have of dying
Are the best I’ve ever had."
Sample conversation among our cast during our morning out to a corporate vision of a children’s aquarium, having gone out yesterday to see a movie pitched to the 4-8 crowd.
DOB: What’s that on top of that house?
UCC: (playing along) A roof?
DOB: I don’t know.
Later, lunching at a restaurant DOB visited a day earlier, having placed our orders and proceeded to drink our first bottle (of wine) of the day, wherein we silently toast and think our own private wishes, and after our food is served by a wait person named Pebbles:
TCG: (to UCC) Would you like to eat the crap she ordered but doesn’t like the look of now that it’s here? You could trade your lovely sandwich - made on bread she can chew with her tooth - for the one she got which has a hamburger bun with suspicious seeds on top?
TCG: (after a brief pause while DOB groks her lunch, to UCC) You didn’t get the bread you wanted, and you go the bread she wants, so do you want to trade your lunch for hers?
DOB: (to the Lunch God) I can’t eat this bread. The.... seeds.....
TCG: (to DOB) Do you want to trade for her sandwich, it’s on better bread?
DOB: I don’t know.
TCG: (To UCC) Are you gonna eat that? (paraphrased)
UCC: (impatience creeping in on little cat feet, like the Viet Cong in the jungle) Yes (paraphrased).
WI (meant to) SIMH: I want to eat the fucking sandwich I ordered. Also, I don’t want to have to repeat myself four times before you give it a fucking rest.
TCG: (That Eye-Roll of Disdain that precedes any particularly ugly passive aggression) Why you gotta be that way? (paraphrased)
UCC: (Impatience wrestling my restraint to the ground like a jungle ambush) Why indeed (paraphrased).
WISIMN: Why the Fuck Indeed. You Dick.
TCG: (after DOB ventures to the lady’s room with visiting daughter who happens to know everything, especially more about the stuff you thought you knew but you were wrong) How are you doing?
UCC: I’m having a wonderful afternoon.
TCG: (Long and pensive pause that precedes any merely mildly reflexive passive aggression) Like I’m having the time of my life blah blah (actual words, not paraphrased).
UCC: Hey, I said wonderful! Much preferable to, say, a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Please order another bottle of wine.
WISIMN: Makes me want to laugh just to keep from killin’.